Ronin of the Spirit

Because reality is beautiful.

Men, women, porn, and reality

I wrote this really complicated and not particualary clear article on this, which when I explained it to my wife.  When I said it outloud  I realized that there was an far easier way to look at it.
1. Entertainment is fantasy
2. There are only 2 worldviews about fantasy
    A. Fantasy exists to add color and depth to reality.
    B. Fantasy exists to replace reality.
       Now, a lot of people get hung up on objectification.  Objectification in this case meas looking at people only as objects to satisify an emotional/physical need.  Women in particular complain that porn objectifies women.  And there right it does.  But thats not the problem.  Reality is complicated and time is not unlimited.  We, as a species objectify those around us to classify them and help us understand things.  My sister is my sister.  I also have a close female friend who I objectify as my sister.  If everytime I related to her at all I had to again go through every possible relationship that she and I could possibly have and what needs that each of us could meet for the other in each of those particular relationships,  I would go bonkers.  Far easier, AND healthier, to simply make her a sister object and work from there. 
    In the different relationships I have there are people I objectify as siblings, parents, etc.  The  problem is not objectification.  The problem isn’t fantasy either.  Humans are not alone in fantasizing.  All higher mammals dream.  Most practice funerary rights.  Funerals are filled with fantasy.  We objectfy the dead to ease the process of morning.  We fantasize what they would have done differntly, or how they would feel if they were alive today.  Al of it is fantasy, and its all a healthy normal part of life
    The problem is when we start fantasizing for purpose B.  to escape reality.  You fantasize not to facilitate reality, but IGNORE it.  Pornagraphy is the furthest logical conclusion to a world view that is based on ignoring realiy.  The images, bodies, dialogs, reactions, all of it is completely fake.  So spending a lot of time looking at it will gradually remove you from reality.  Your comments to others are based not in how they are, but how you wish them to be.
That being said, the problem with porn isn’t porn.  Its the worldview that creates it and consumes it.  People can (and do) reach the same level of nonreality from obessing about ANY media source.  And the answer to NOT being a porn addict isn’t the porn or lack thereoff.  Its a world view that is based on using fantasy for its design purpose of adding color and depth to reality, rather than self destructively using fantasy to escape reality. 
   And a note: don’t let the “yuck factor” of porn make you blind to Type B living anywhere.  Romance novels, movies, books, videogames.  Any genre can do to the hungry for X mind what porn can do the hungry for sex part. 
 

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December 10, 2006 - Posted by | Uncategorized

4 Comments »

  1. I just want to add one thing. Romance novels objectify men as much as porn objectifies women. It presents the man as this hairy, breast-less, woman much as porn portrays women as hairless men with breasts. Like oneliterofmight said, escaping from reality is the problem, however it manifests itself.

    Comment by Becky | December 10, 2006 | Reply

  2. This comment has nothing to do with your article. It was written by Don Seehusen and I thought you might enjoy it:

    OK, so for the last few weeks, there has been a huge sign on campus that I see every day at work.

    COME SEE RACHEL
    from
    THE REAL WORLD: AUSTIN

    SHE WILL TALK ABOUT THE WAR!

    Seriously. This reality TV “star” is touring college campuses and talking about “the war”. And students go to this crap.

    Yeah, we live in the good ol’ Estados Unidos, where everybody gets to have their own opinion, and our friends and family fight and die so that we can have that right, but why oh WHY is it that celebrities (and yes, even “celebrities”) have even greater opinions than the rest of us? Who hasn’t heard Sean Penn raving like a mad man, or Pamela Anderson talking about how fur is murder and we need to spay our cats.

    Anybody else remember that SNL where (OK, complete brain fart here. I can’t remember the guys name. Hes a senator and is one of the presidential hopefulls for next election) hosted? He did a scetch where he sang (and by sang, I mean massacred) a bunch of Barbera Strisand songs, and then at the end basically said that he would stop trying to do her job if she would stop trying to do his. Brilliant!

    Why is it that we as Americans belive that just because someone is in the public eye, that their opinions and/or political views are more valid and hold more weight than the rest of us voters? I mean, do you REALLY want a bunch of Tom Cruises running our country?

    Well, if there is one thing I loath more than stars telling us how things should be, it reality TV “stars” doing it. Seriously. You know how we have laws saying who can and cannot run for various public offices? Stuff like minimum age requirements, and (at least for the presidency) having to be born in the US? Well, I think we should add one. If you have ever been on a reality TV show, you are not allowed to run for public office. Ever. Anyone who is that much of an attention whore should never be allowed to run a country.

    Comment by CC | December 11, 2006 | Reply

  3. After spending over a third of my life working with addicts and addictions I can tell you that porn is just one manifestation of what happens in the addicts mind. The fact is that it feeds LUST. Lust is a sin. Expressly forbidden by God. The Bible teaches, I believe, that alcohol can be consumed in moderation, and thus avoid the sin of drunkenness. Food can be consumed in moderation and thus avoid the sin of gluttony…. but Scripture makes no provision for lust in moderation. Lust is sin. Always. Under all circumstances. You can make all the arguments you want for moderation in other things… but lust… and thus pornography… is never acceptable and can never have a place in the child of God.

    Comment by RiverRatRanger | December 11, 2006 | Reply

  4. Before anyone jumps on me and starts calling me a “religous biggot”, I should let everyone know that I am a Christian in the true sense. I have a relationship with God and obey Him to the best of my abilities and seek to do better. I believe in Jesus and the Holy Spirit as presented in Scripture and revealed by the Holy Spirit. Now, one thing that I have seen in addition to the tangible addictions, are the addictions of religion. They don’t practice out of a true faith or dedication to what the beliefs stand for, instead they do it for the rush of “I’m a good person because I did XYZ” or “I’m ok because I go to church/temple/mosque twice a week”. It’s about the emotional high, the rush of people wanting to pray for you, the predictable and “safe” ceremonies that they don’t really believe in. However, when it comes down to following the rules and living their life by God’s Word, they fight against it harder than even a non-believer because it requires them to face reality and make changes that they may not even want. It requires them to look at themselves and really consider if what they are doing means anything. Before I go off on a tangent, I will close with this: for some, the various religions are not a way to live life, but rather a security blanket that let’s them sleep at night and forget how messed up they or their family members are. In the end, through their denial of the reality of their lives, they not only hurt themselves, but they also give everyone else who has the same claims a bad name and reputation. This is why I do not have a fish on my car. I do not want to give other Christians a bad name simply because I’m having a bad day. If I am going to screw up, I will do it in person so that they know that I, an individual human, messed up and not Christianity as a whole. And, unlike many who are hiding, I will take responsibility for my mistakes and not spread the blame to the others in my group.

    Comment by James T | December 11, 2006 | Reply


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