Ronin of the Spirit

Because reality is beautiful.

Graduation and the Madman speaks

I graduated tech school today. First thing I have graduated since 1999. It was a big day. I got several little peices of paper and small silver crest to wear with my dress blues. I got Top graduate (highest score of all.) I was thumbed on the back, hand shook, and high fived. I was made to smile and salute. Seriously, it was all pretty nice…

But the moment for me, the real moment, probably went unnoticed by anyone else. Its something that, regardless of anything that ever happens, is mine to keep. One of my wingmen came up to me and handed me his crest. He said “Walker, I want you to be the one who pins this on me. You earned it. I woundn’t have made it without you.” And I smiled. And alone in my room, I cried. Its hard to be a good man, its a fight oten as not. Today, I was glad I fought. I thanked God for keeping me and my wingmen out of trouble, and asked to help me not get cocky about it.

I wish the Church could accept a pastor who serves people by fixing their cars and rewiring their garages and helping them do their homework, but sadly the church is not interested in helping people, unless they are somehow a sexy project. Naked brown people are good, the unwed pregnant daughter of a missionary is rejected (Perhaps if she had been an ethnic intercity teen, someone would have given a damn, but for a pretty suburbanite? No one cares. Giving your money to the Church to redistribute as She sees fit is “partnering in ministry” fixing someones car so they can go to work and continue to feed their family? No one cares. But ah if you can talk, if you can open a book and say pretty things, and cry when it is appropriate, or if you can pick up an intrument and smile while you play, when then you are really “spiritual”, and deserve to be on the “clergy” side instead of the “lay” side.

Its tragic, really. The church is just like every other human institution. There are basically 2 kinds of people in the world. Those who own, and those who rent. Those who own make their living on the backs of those who rent. If you live in an apartment for 30 years do you know what you own at the end? Nothing. Absolutely Nothing. In business we call them “stock holders” and “employees”. In real estate “Landlords” and “tennants”. And in the church we call them “Ministers/worship leaders/pastors” and “congregation/church goers/ministry partners” but in the end the relationship is the same: You pay me, and I will give you things that you are convinced you need, but in the end I will still be here and you will own nothing. After tithing to a Church for ten years, what do you have? Do you even know the faces of the poeple your money is supposed to be helping? If you did it yourself, you would own something: CHILDREN. You would have spiritual children growing and maturing, meeting others, and disciplining disciples of their own. Instead, the church whores us for our money. They tell us we are ministry partners, they take our life (money, if your recal is how we are paid for the time we spend, and that time is 1/2 to 1/3 of our very lives) Then that nice pastor who took the money? He gets every benefit. He gets the warm fuzzies, the thrill of “fixing” someone, the recognition the respect. But thats not enough. You will pay for his house, his childrens braces, his wife’s clothes. You will pay and pay and pay. And in the end have nothing. Maybe if you brown nose him enough he will make you like him and he will like you. You won’t have to work for a living either, just spend time talking with people all day. Do you play an instrument? Can you do sales pitches? Good Good Good. You like to work with you hands and help people face to face? You need to mature some… maybe you should take some theology course, after all what good is Truth if everyone can understand it. Yes, take some college courses, wear a tie and maybe we will let you into the really spiritual people club.

Do I sound bitter? I’m not. Its just today the airforce gave me something the church would not. It let me be responsible for 9 people. And we got the highest class average the school has ever seen. Every compliment (and insult, though that is a subject for another time) was MINE. We all did great, left better than we came in, and exceded all expectations.

Sigh. Anyway, I miss my wife and daughter. 58 hrs my loves. I will be in your arms and you in mine. For a brief moment at least, all will be right with the world.


February 21, 2007 - Posted by | Uncategorized


  1. aw that was really sweet. I’m glad you earned top graduate, must have been a breath of fresh air, to finally get somewhere in this air force career. I think it’s really nice that you helped all those other guys too, you’re a good person. OH, and I completely agree on your church ideas, but I always have.

    Comment by Kyriaous | February 21, 2007 | Reply

  2. Once again, you have spoken the truth. Your words, more than anyone else’s, ring clear and true. There is a reason your class did so well. It’s because you are an amazing and gifted teacher. The Air Force may not have recognized it but your wingmen did and they thank you for it. Your wife recognizes it and continually seeks to better herself so as to be a better helpmeet to you. The Church may never recognize it. But we, your friends and family, recognize it and will stand with you in all you do. You are an inspiration to us all. I love you and am counting the hours.

    Comment by Becky | February 21, 2007 | Reply

  3. You hear a popping sound… it’s the buttons flying off Dad’s vest as he swells with pride. I KNEW you could do it. Your Mom knew. The day of the Big Shipwreck I told you… “don’t let anybody call you a boy… you just proved yourself a man.” And now you’ve proved yourself a leader.

    Of course you’re right on about the Organized Church, not necessarily the Body Of Christ, his Bride. Which is why we attend a non-denominational assembly of believers who don’t HAVE a professional “pastor” to feed and care for. Where we give $150 and hear later that it bought a pickup load of rice that was run through the terrorist lines and distributed to a starving village and each cup was given in His name. Where a dozen babies, abandoned by their AIDs ravaged mothers, tossed under a bush to the jackals and hyenas, drink the milk we bought and get the medical care we helped pay for. The Church is out there, strong, growing, loving… don’t let the little Hitlers make you forget it.

    Keep ’em flying Airman.

    Comment by Shamgar S | February 22, 2007 | Reply

  4. Congrats on your graduation. We’re proud of you.

    Comment by Neil-Angie H | February 22, 2007 | Reply

  5. Congratulations! I tell you every member of our family was born to teach. Dad should have done it for a career; he loves his anger management classes. Older Bro should’ve taught history. OK church history since that would probably suit him better and I wish I taught secondary education. I loved it when I did it back on the island. Of course, big sis did get into teaching. You should consider going into teaching if the opportunity ever presents itself. I think you’d be great at it!

    Comment by CC | February 23, 2007 | Reply

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