Ronin of the Spirit

Because reality is beautiful.

Ritalin dreams

Last night I had dream. I dreamed that I wasn’t doing very good at work. I dreamed that when I came in my boss was if my office, and holding a small bottle of pills. He smiled sweetly and said, “Well, now I see why we’ve having a problem lately.” He handed me a bottle of Ritalin and explained in the way that only bosses can how much he cared about me as a person but ultimately had responsibility to the company, so couldn’t I please just take my pills? I started to bluster and then again as only a boss can, he got serious and said if I didn’t take it he would report me to the state health department for not taking my legally prescribed medication. Then I woke up, and wrote this poem.


There is a drug that I must take

To make me just like you

It kills the colors and shapes

And makes all things one hue

It takes away my valleys

But it takes away my highs

I never hated life so much

Till I saw it through your eyes

Why does it scare you

That can’t sit like a stone

How does it hurt you

When I do things on my own

Is it wrong to see music,

As it notes go by

Is it wrong to feel the wind

As I watch the birds fly?

You don’t care if I am well

You only want me normal

You kill my beauty with a spell

Just to make me normal

Ritalin, goes running through my veins

Ritalin makes everything the same

Ritalin I’d be angry if I was able

Ritalin I can’t fight you, I’m too stable.

I will not take my pills today

I have to much to see

I will not march these fields of gray

I will just be me

I’ll watch the colors of the shapes

And see what I can do

For I will give anything

For one more day

That I am not you.


February 27, 2007 - Posted by | Uncategorized


  1. I was there the day the shrink said to put you on that crap. Do you remember what I said? “Over my dead body, doc”…. he wouldn’t stop pushing…. “OK, over YOUR dead body, doc.” Do you remember how that little interchange altered all of our lives? I’d do it again in a heartbeat

    Comment by RiverRatRanger | February 28, 2007 | Reply

  2. I have had some weird dreems man but that is weird. I one time dreamed all doors were toilets and you had to flush yourself to get through. Someone may say I need Ritalin but I don’t think it is the right clasification I rather think they would use Haldol or Depakote.

    Comment by znurseflower | February 28, 2007 | Reply

  3. I read the poem to your mother. She laughed till she cried and said over and over how wonderful it was. She had me print it up and is going to distribute copies. Even your 4th Grade teacher might get one.

    Special to ZNurse… Haldol has bad side effects… it’s the quick knockdown since they stopped making Serentil, but lots of tardive diskonesia. I don’t trust Depakote. But Geodon… now THERE is a medication… less side effects and as I told the Detail Man (medication sales rep)… “There’s no such thing as psychosis.. only Geodon deficiancies.”

    Comment by RiverRatRanger | February 28, 2007 | Reply

  4. I like your poem. Thanks for ruining my social life as a high schooler! =)

    Comment by CC | March 15, 2007 | Reply

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