Ronin of the Spirit

Because reality is beautiful.

so confused

I don’t know what to believe anymore. They say God is Truth. Could it be wrong to love truth so much that you doubt God? Its not that I doubt the truth of Gods existence. To me the beauty of the world cries out for a Draftsmen. The jagged edge of the mountains and the smooth rolling curves of the rivers are but the brush strokes of the great Artist.

But the personal nature of God so preached by the post-renaissance theologians seems so strangely empty. They say I must pray. Why must a all knowing God have my petty needs brought to his attention? A wise friend answered: this is not for God’s benefit, for it would be a poor god who needed anything from his creation, but for my enrichment. I must focus my spirit on God, meditating on His nature and ways.

Prayer must be for us and not for God. If prayer did indeed change things, then perhaps 3 million Jews were praying to the wrong God? I wonder if of the millions that died under Mao none knew the right name for God? Would it even matter how much we suffered in this life if Hell is what we think it is? What could a moments suffering on earth matter if a person is going to Hell anyway?

Meditate on the Unknowable that you may reach the Unreachable. Isn’t that the mysticism the center of every mystic sect of all religions? Mine is not alone in claiming it is the only road, yet I am told only mine is indeed the only true path. If I had been born in another country or another time I would have grown up hearing an other path as the right one. Would it then be God’s will for me to die forever upon the first death, rather than live forever?

Why is the Bible inspired and the Koran isn’t? If the Bible is inspired, is the Koran inspired when it agrees with the Bible? Does that mean the Koran is partially inspired? Is God responsible for the good we do or are we alone responsible? If God loves freewill so much that he allows people like Mao and Stalin to murder scores of millions of people then why should we possibly petition Him for assistance? The New Testament says that God puts the civil leaders in place, and to obey them for they have the power they posses to be God’s justice upon man.
For what crime against God did 60 million Chinese die? Mao’s troops killed anyone who wore glasses. Glasses meant you could read, and that meant you had been or would soon be an enemy of the Collective.

September 5, 2007 - Posted by | Uncategorized


  1. Again, as when we discuss these things at home, I wish I had answers…not just for you but for the world in general. You ask good questions and I don’t know. Sometimes it really pisses me off that you ask…it seems presumptuous. It’s as if because you aren’t “clergy” you shouldn’t be allowed to ask questions like that. And it is this mindset that allowed so many of the atrocities to happen, at least from the Church side.

    Anyway, even though sometimes it makes me mad (read here, mostly just really uncomfortable because I don’t know the answer and I didn’t even realize there was a question), I am glad you are asking these questions. I know your search is for Truth. You are a good searcher and what you learn will benefit us all.

    Oh, and for all you out there wondering why I’m responding by comment to my husband’s post instead of just talking to him…he wrote this last night and I didn’t get a chance to read it and talk to him about until this morning (well the reading part, not the talking part). So that’s why. It’s not like a weird silent treatment or something, although that would be kind of interesting. I wonder how long a marriage could last with a couple only speaking through e-mail, IM, notes left on screen…hmmmmm. Interesting story idea for someone else.

    Comment by Becky | September 6, 2007 | Reply

  2. to quote a famous book…. “Hear, oh Israel, the Lord our God is One.”….. “Tell them I AM hath sent you.”…. “Before Abraham was… I AM”… “Behold the lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world.”…. “… that at the name of Jesus every tongue shall bow and tongue confess…” “I go to prepare a place for you. It it were not so I would have told you…”

    The promises and claims of Jehovah God are unique and exclusive. His love is INCLUSIVE… but we aren’t. We are not capable of always comprehending His ways, nor is it His job to submit Himself to our concept of fairness or justice or mercy. To demand it of Him is to suggest we know more than the Omniscient. For me that would be trying to be God myself. I’ve had many years of attempting it. The universe always runs better when I let Him be God instead of me.

    Comment by RiverRatRanger | September 9, 2007 | Reply

  3. To Quote Mrs. River Rat Ranger…. “God is Truth. You can’t love Truth more than God, because if you are loving Truth, you ARE loving God.” I once again am awed by her superior insight. And to correct the above quote it is.. “… every KNEE shall bow and tongue confess.

    Comment by RiverRatRanger | September 9, 2007 | Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: