Ronin of the Spirit

Because reality is beautiful.

Joys of Coffee

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I had an incredibly lousy weekend. First, a moment of silence to remember “The Joy’s of Coffee”. Joy’s not only the greatest coffee shop on the Gulf Coast (which is sort of like being the smartest kid on the short bus) it was the greatest coffee shop of all time. Ever. I have drunk expensive coffee in San Fransisco, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Washington DC, Monterey, and Minneapolis. Joy’s served a cup of Americano for which you would sell your mortal soul. My wife hates coffee. She doesn’t even like the limp wristed so-called coffee beverages that Starbucks sells for such unholy amounts of money. But Joy’s americano? She smelled it and said “That smells amazing.” She tasted it and said “I think I could learn to like coffee if it was always served like this.” But Joy’s is closed and some ignorant baboon bought it. The woman who bought it doesn’t know how to make americano. In fact, I really doubt she knows how to make anything but Foldgers instant crystals. In the world of real coffee, Foldgers instant crystals (FIC) occupies a position of legendary evil, not totally unlike the Antichrist in Christianity. To those who truly love coffee, FIC isn’t just whats wrong with coffee. Its whats wrong with the Establishment. Its whats wrong with this country. It is, in fact, tangible proof of evil. And this lady had Foldger’s Instant Crystals carved into her tiny, bourgeois skull with Dollar Store never-needs-sharpening steak knife.

Second, I got a nasty case of the intestinal flu. I don’t know if you have ever had the intestinal flu, it is to paraphrase Douglas Adams, rather unpleasantly like being drunk. Whats so bad about being drunk you ask? Ask a glass of water…

Third, since I had nothing else to do than lie on the floor near my toilet, I finished reading the Bible this weekend. This should have been a fairly spiritual experience but there is just something about spraying pure liquid poo while having horrible, horrible cramps that sort of robs it of the majesty. Reading the Bible cover to cover instead of building my faith largely demolished it. This is actually a good thing, its happened before, and every time I develop a much deeper understanding as part of the process, but it feels like getting hit with a train.

So, no more good coffee, intestines in revolt, Christianity on the skids. All in all, a really lousy weekend.

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February 27, 2008 - Posted by | Religion, skepticism, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

2 Comments »

  1. Joy’s will be long remembered and long grieved. The Gulf Coast was slightly improved by the presence of a coffee shop such as Joy’s and now that it’s gone, the coast has gone back to being the fetid pile of sand it once was. *sigh*

    Comment by ladyrebecca | February 27, 2008 | Reply

  2. I stopped in at “Used to be Joy’s” to get a bagel, thinking, “At least the bagels are still great.”

    Yeah, they didn’t have any Garlic Herb cream cheese and an Everything bagel isn’t an Everything bagel with out Garlic Herb cream cheese. Now, you might think that’s not a big deal but it signifies a hiccup in the chain of goodness and I believe it is a preview of things to come. I don’t think there is any salvaging any of the goodness that was Joy’s.

    Comment by ladyrebecca | February 28, 2008 | Reply


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