Ronin of the Spirit

Because reality is beautiful.

A land of looters

I don’t want to be full of hate. I don’t want to let how much I hate what other people value to be my definition, I want to be defined instead by what I love. It’s just so hard sometimes. People are so foolish. I try not to even look at what other people are doing, not to find people worthy of contempt but simply not to find them at all. It is my life’s creed to see things as they are and not as I wish them to be. Reality is real. Our feelings about reality are not unreal, or even unimportant, but simply are not nearly as important as reality itself.

This is the reality that I see around me: People afraid. Everyone is afraid, of each other, of the government, ultimately of themselves. Do you know why we have road rage? Because people aren’t hurrying to get to somewhere, they are hurrying to get away. They run in fear of everything. In the car they drive with radio on, least, in the drone of the tires on the road they communicate with their own self. They get to work and immediately begin tasks they dislike for too little money. Then they rush home to drown their identity in TV. Don’t think. Don’t feel. Just accept. They project their fear of themselves upon everyone they meet. They are afraid to be alone because they are afraid to be alone with the person they fear most.

But why are they afraid of their own souls? What crime have we, as a people committed, that we cannot stand any act of mirroring? They drive with the music on not to hear their own thoughts. They call those who will share meaningless pleasantries with them friend, and those who will call them out their inconsistencies…well, they don’t call them anything. They lack even the honesty with themselves to call their enemies by that title. They don’t refer to people they don’t like by any title at all, they just talk endlessly about what they don’t like about them. They avoid any mirror that reflects back to them the condition of their own spirit. For what crime? For what guilt?

When they discuss ideas they don’t discuss whether the idea is right or wrong. They argue where it might go in the wrong hands. They argue who might think what. It is perception of morality that matters to them not morality. They will never discuss right and wrong in the open because to do so would require that they know their own heart, but they don’t dare see what is inside. Why are they so afraid of in their own spirit? For what crime? For what guilt?

We speak often our culture being sex obsessed, but only if sex is meaningless physical exchange. In general, people avoid meaningful sex like the plague. I hear my neighbor having sex through the wall.”Oh fuck… Fuck yeah….oh, fuck me.” she says. She doesn’t scream it. She says it with the casual meaningless of a pick up line. Their sex hast no purpose, no union of souls, just the flopping of two desperate people. They have sex not to celebrate their love, but to forget their emptiness. Why? What secret inner accusation are they trying to hide from? For what crime? For what guilt?

I think we have purveyed a great lie: that the reality of how we feel is more important than reality itself. As a culture we have bought into magic thinking, thinking that we will change reality merely because we desire too. But even though everyone believes this, deep down inside we know its a lie.

We want to have money, so the government gives us an “economic incentives”. This is madness. We all know the government can only get money from one source: taxes. Which we pay. The money the government gives today will come out of our taxes tomorrow. But it feels so good to have money today.

We want the inner city schools to be better, so we give them more money. The problem of course is not that the inner city schools don’t have enough money (thought they certainly do not). Research has shown that the reason affluent suburban schools do well is not because of the money. Parents who are involved are more likely to be rich, but it is the parental involvement that makes for a good school. The problem with inner city schools is that, by and large, inner city parents don’t give a damn. But giving those, poor, poor, children computers in every classroom makes us feel so much better.

We don’t want a war in Iraq. It doesn’t feel good. But it hurts so much more to pay $4.00 a gallon for gas than to not fight a war. So we fight a war for oil, that any child could see is a war for oil and say it is a war for freedom. It makes us feel so much better that way.

We begin by lying to ourselves. We then become a nation of cheats and looters. We don’t want socialized medicine because we give a shit about children. Deep down inside we want socialized medicine because we want something for nothing. We don’t want more federal funding to go to schools because we really care about our neighbors obnoxious kids graduating, we want more federal funding to go to schools because deep down inside we think the more money our school gets the better our kids will be, and why should we have to pay for our own kids way when we can bleed the rich people for it? We don’t want the Feds to bug our phone (Patriot Act), but deep down inside we would rather have the Feds listening to all our conversations than ever have to defend ourselves. Its so much easier to trust someone else to protect us than be responsible for it ourselves. We don’t support Social Security because we want to protect the investment of our senior citizens. Deep down we want social security because as much as it hurts to pay in, we know that others out there pay more than we do and we look forward to living off of their hard work.

This is the sickness the pervades our society. We lie to ourselves, but deep down we know whats right and wrong, and we know that what we are doing is wrong. We know we have no right to the hand outs we are taking, but we take them anyway. We make sure the people we vote for keep them coming. We say its moral to steal from the rich and give to the poor, but not respecting the poor’s dignity to insist that they work for their bread. We reversed our moral code. We steal from the able to give to the incompetent. We will all spend the “economic incentive” if we get it. We will be happy for the cash, but inside, deep inside, we will be sick. Disgusted that we are taking that which we didn’t work for from men and women who did.

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March 8, 2008 - Posted by | Government, Politics, Uncategorized | , , , , , , ,

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