Ronin of the Spirit

Because reality is beautiful.

Rape 2

tears

In my earlier post about rape I mentioned the Christian/Conservative/patriarchal party line as my starting point, my beliefs in high school. I explained why I felt this view was wrong, and I agreed more or less with the feminist party line.  That post climbed up over 1000 words and I quit, saving the second half for another day.  This is the half where I admit thought I agree with my own conclusion, I am concerned by the direction society has taken in response to the tension between these two view points.

For some reason, women trust me.  They tell me things they would not tell other men in their life, and this contributes greatly to my disillusionment with Christianity.  Being a fundamentalist home schooler, my high school was the kitchen table, and not a lot of sexual coming of age happened there.  The place that “grew me up” was my job at East Iowa Bible Camp.  A busy lifeguard, I sat stone still, watching my grossly over crowded pool carefully.  There was room for two my stand, and to make sure I didn’t miss anyone, I didn’t talk.  I just listened.

Girl after girl sat on my stand with me.  Enjoying the comfortable silence for a time, and then beginning to talk.  And they told of their rapes.  I don’t remember the numbers anymore, just that it was more than half.  These beautiful young women, with their shining eyes and easy smiles had been raped.  So many of them had been raped.  They were worship leaders, youth group assistants, nursery volunteers.  They were young the face of Christianity, fresh scrubbed and facing the ‘morrow.  It still disturbs the hell out me as I write it 12 years later.

I knew from TV shows I’d watched, the important thing to say, was that it wasn’t their fault, and while I said it to still their tears rolling down their faces so incongruently in the summer sunshine, sometimes I didn’t believe it.  One friend told me she knew she was raped, but didn’t remember.  Klara (not her real name) had been drunk, and she remembered doing a strip tease for the boys at the party.  She woke up with her panties around her ankles, her crotch feeling raw and damp.

Another friend was four.  Her mother left her with a good Christian neighbor everyday.  The neighbor’s son was 10.  He raped her.  He raped her everyday until they moved to the mission field, eight years later, her a budding young woman, him finally legally an adult.  We’ll call her Gina.

These two women never told each other their stories.  Neither ever knew the other was victim, and I’d given my word I wouldn’t tell.  Inside, I seethed.  Both were raped, both had something horrible happen.  Both were shattered inside.  But one was actively trying seduce a stranger and had, with full knowledge of consequences, consumed a huge quantity of alcohol.  The other was four years old.  In general, I agree with feminism, I agree that rape is far to common, but I have always felt any definition of rape which puts these two acts on the same moral level is less than ideal.

I remember believing that raping a drunken promiscuously dressed woman should not be punishable to the same severity as raping an “innocent” women.  This retrospect belief sickens me today.  Feminism taught me that woman should be able to do and appear as she wishes and that only thing that makes for a rape is the addition of a rapist. I feel that is mostly true.  I also feel saying Klara’s experience was as equally not her fault as Gina’s is an enormous slap in the face to Gina.  I feel that saying the only contributing factor was the addition of rapists elevates a Klara as much as saying “She asked for it” rapes Gina anew.

My second confusion is about alcohol.  A woman cannot give consent if she is drunk.  Even if she says yes, her yes is meaningless, because she lacks the ability to consent, and cannot be held accountable for her action.  Yet man, no matter how drunk, rapes if he does not hear and heed a “no”.  This is a horrible double standard.  In short a woman is not accountable for her sexual behavior when drunk, yet a man is.  This is patronizing so called “positive discrimination”.  It is clear sexual Uncle Tomism, that says that woman are weaker and less accountable and need more protection.

This issues are where I step away from the party line.  I am not making statements of fact.  I am stating my understanding of the facts.  I could have them wrong, and I welcome correction.   Please feel free to comment and set me straight, that’s why I wrote it.  I would really like to hear something from some card carying feminists on these two issues.  Thanks for reading, all.

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March 5, 2009 - Posted by | atheism, Christianity, Politics, Religion, Self discovery | , , , , , , ,

25 Comments »

  1. Both Klara and Gina were raped. Rape is always wrong. There are varying degrees of brutality and the impact on victims can vary but bottom line, the crime is wrong. Every time. Without exception. Period. No one seems to have a problem with the definition of murder: a homeless person is killed painlessly but deliberately with an overdose of drugs and nobdy is there to weep for him. That’s murder. It’s wrong. A young child is tortured and beaten in front of his mother, then killed. His mother is traumatised for life, his whole community mourns. That’s murder. It’s wrong. The impact of these crimes varies, the suffering of the victims even varies, and the level of condemnation these killers recieve from the community – and probably the sentencing judge – varies. But does calling the death of the homeless guy a murder in any way hurt the family of the young boy? Does it detract from the crime of killing the little boy? Not at all.
    So honestly, I cannot understand why you have a problem with the ‘issue’ of Klara and Gina. The only explanation would be that you think that Klara partly deserved to be raped. And that really says to me that maybe you have some more to learn from feminism.

    Comment by Spilt Milk | March 5, 2009 | Reply

  2. I can’t say I have a perfect understanding of it either. I want to agree with you, but for some reason it feels wrong to me. I don’t think anyone deserves to be raped. Ever. But it feels like different people take different steps in the level of probability that they enter. When a person is a passenger on a plane, they have a reasonable expectation of not dying in a crash. I think that Klara should have had a reasonable expectation that getting profoundly drunk as a 17 year old and taking her clothes off in front of strangers was going to end badly. She had a reasonable expectation of not being raped, as all woman should, but still should have know it was unlikely that the night would end well. Gina had no such reasonable expectation that anything would go wrong.

    It seems to me (a bit) like a cross walk. I have every legal right to cross the street at a cross walk, I have a reasonable expectation of not getting hit, and legal recourse if I do get hit. Yet, if I step in front of car racing towards me, don’t I bear some personal responsibility, even if the legal fault is entirely on the person who ran me over?

    I don’t doubt that feminism has a lot to teach me still, many isms do. And I’ve found as part of the process of removing Christianity from my life and accepting truth rather than beliefs about truth that I run into strange, inconsistent beliefs I didn’t even know I had. This could totally be me being unconsciously patriarchal. But please help me understand the “reasonable expectation” thing.

    Comment by truthwalker | March 5, 2009 | Reply

  3. A note here, the fact I was madly in love with Gina, engaged to her, and wanting to be the father of her children, whereas I always found Klara to be sort of vacuous and dull, and had to turn down her requests for dates repeatedly my have some subconscious bearing on my feelings. That’s sick, but honest.

    Comment by truthwalker | March 5, 2009 | Reply

  4. First I want to say that I appreciate your writing about this. It’s a topic of great interest to me, but it can be quite difficult to discuss for obvious reasons.

    I have to be honest and admit that I completely understand your dilemma here, Truthwalker. I’ve made these same points to my husband as we’ve discussed this very topic.

    Like you, I do not believe that anyone deserves to be raped. Not ever! That said, I also wonder why people who behave irresponsibly are given a complete pass when it comes to rape, but not where other crimes are involved.

    Let’s say I’m sitting at the bus stop with my purse next to me on the bench. I get up and walk to the curb to throw something in the trash, but I leave my purse on the bench, wide open, cash visible, and someone grabs it and runs.

    Did I deserve to be robbed? Of course not! Should the person who robbed me face criminal charges? Most certainly. But no one in the world would have a problem with pointing out my error and what I could have done to prevent the robbery.

    The same could be said of just about any other crime or offense. If I leave my keys in the car, I’d be “asking” to have it stolen. If I leave the front door to my house wide open, I’d be “asking” to have it burglarized. And so it goes.

    On the other hand, if a woman strips and starts giving lap dances to a frat house full of drunken males, she somehow bears no responsibility whatsoever if she is raped. We’re not allowed to point out her mistake. In fact, she made no mistake in the minds of many.

    I find this very confusing.

    I think it’s important to mention here, that holding someone responsible for his or her own behavior or mistakes is not necessarily the same thing as blaming him or her for the outcome. I know this is a sticking point for some people, and I will not debate the point, I just want to clarify my personal thoughts on this particular point.

    I also share your thoughts on the double standard of claiming that a drunken woman cannot consent because her judgment is impaired, while completely disregarding the concept of impaired judgment when a man is drunk.

    She had a reasonable expectation of not being raped, as all woman should, but still should have know it was unlikely that the night would end well. Gina had no such reasonable expectation that anything would go wrong.

    Right. I, too, would welcome an explanation as to how the two scenarios can possibly be the same.

    I also want to make clear that I am not, nor would I ever, blame the victim of any crime. Rape, in particular, is a life-altering, traumatic violation, and I do not want to undermine that in any way. I simply do not understand the apparent contradictions and double standards in our approach it in certain situations.

    Comment by Lottie | March 5, 2009 | Reply

  5. Clear headed, Lottie. It’s nice to know I’m not the only person confused by these things. I hope I get some more responses, because I would really like to understand both sides of this one.

    Comment by truthwalker | March 5, 2009 | Reply

  6. Just want to voice in as one also confused by these things. In both situations the addition of a rapist is what caused rape to happen and is neither girl’s fault. However Klara made choices which made her vulnerable and Gina did not. Does that make either situation less “rape?” Of course not but there is a difference, but I, like Truthwalker and Lottie, do not know how to define that difference.

    The same crime happened, nonconsenting sexual intercourse, so punishment should be the same…I think.

    I don’t think women should have to wear clothing that covers them from neck to wrist and ankle but I do feel there is a certain amount of personal responsibility that needs to be taken into consideration. But anytime I try to spell it out, I end up sounding like (and maybe actually) I am blaming rape victims for the crimes committed against them.

    I just don’t know. Rape is always wrong. To add another analogy to the mix, one especially close to my heart, if a laboring mother has been asking for pain killing drugs for the first hours of her labor but as the needle nears her spine says, “No,” that “no” MUST be respected. It doesn’t matter how much she’s begged her doctor to give her the drugs or how much she’s screamed at her husband for not giving them to her, when she says, “No,” to a procedure, that needs to be respected.

    I don’t know. The topic is so loaded and so volatile. I feel like we maybe need a dozen new words to help define things.

    Thank you for writing about this, Truthwalker. Your posts are always a good read. Miss having you here to read them to me.

    Comment by ladyrebecca | March 5, 2009 | Reply

  7. It would appear that the main problem is the crime itself and the monumental effect of the crime on the victim. It is such a heinous, violating crime that to try and point out to a victim of the crime she could have done something to prevent it is to take fire in your hands. Any woman who has suffered something so humiliating and violating is not going to be able to think objectively no matter what you say. From my understanding the majority of women who are raped feel worthless and like they are to blame. If it is pointed out to them specifically by others I am sure it just serves to make them feel worse and in some small way violated again. That’s what that kind of crime does to a person.

    Comment by CC | March 8, 2009 | Reply

  8. I see your points and understand how you came to them, but I agree the most with CC.

    There are statistics on date rape that show how consuming alcohol increases the chances of the crime. That, along with revealing clothing and teasing actions are obviously going to garner that type of attention. But that knowledge does not mean that we should blame women who participated in these things before being raped…or see their rape as less of a crime. What we should do with that knowledge is teach it to young girls so that they can make better decisions and hopefully avoid such a situation.

    There was no alcohol or revealing clothing involved when I was raped. Does that mean I should be pitied more than the girl who was drunk and danced around? Absolutely not.

    Believe me, the girl has beat herself up over the event more times than you can imagine. The last thing she needs is someone agreeing with the voices in her head that said she was to blame. She learned her lesson the hard way and would never repeat that mistake.

    Comment by Katy | March 13, 2009 | Reply

  9. But that knowledge does not mean that we should blame women who participated in these things before being raped…or see their rape as less of a crime. What we should do with that knowledge is teach it to young girls so that they can make better decisions and hopefully avoid such a situation.

    I completely agree with you. This is what I was getting at when I talked about taking responsibility — learning from it, teaching others about it, etc. Trouble is, many feminists will call even that victim-blaming. Any suggestion about how women can protect themselves from being raped is somehow an implication of generalized blame directed at rape victims.

    Again, I am not, nor would I ever, blame a rape victim for her rape. I only wish we were allowed to discuss the issue in a way that everyone could benefit. Unfortunately, a large majority of feminists won’t allow it, and that is what I have a problem with.

    All that said, I’m very sorry for what you went through. 😦

    Comment by Lottie | March 13, 2009 | Reply

  10. That is sad to hear that feminists think rape education translates into blame directed at rape victims. That kind of thinking will just lead to more offenses.

    A few months after I was raped, I stood up in my public speaking class and gave an oral report on date rape, hoping that it would help someone in my class avoid what I’d been through. I never saw it as me saying “my rape was my fault and if you don’t follow these rules and get raped then it’s your fault.”

    But even though I knew in my head that it was not my fault…it took a long time for my heart to accept that. Hindsight is always 20/20.

    Comment by Katy | March 14, 2009 | Reply

  11. Katy and Lottie, thanks both for your thoughts. I’m still trying to figure out what I think, talking to people who’ve had the experience, reading the feminism 101 website, and very lightly studying the legal history.

    I haven’t been able to find any statistics that said alcohol or clothing play any role in the likelihood of rape. The opposite actually. And I’ve horribly misstated the feminist perspective if I’ve made it seem that the feminist view is to ever blame the victim.

    Rape as a crime covers a continuum of crime, from a 18 year old having consensual sex with a 16 year old to a woman grabbed out of park, and everything between. I don’t know if it’s just the patriarchy talking, but it seems wrong at first glance to say that in all of the cases, the woman is 0% at fault. I might decide that is the case, though. I’m still reviewing the data. If that doubt means I’m blaming you, I’m terribly sorry. I’m not doing it on purpose, I’m just trying to be as skeptical of feminism as I am of other isms.

    One think I do find sort of terrible is the amount we spend on teacher our daughters not to be raped. Shouldn’t the money we spend on rape education be going towards teaching our boys not to be rapists rather than our girls not to be victims? Do you find it odd that rape education is directed at the pre-victims rather than the pre-rapists?

    Comment by truthwalker | March 14, 2009 | Reply

  12. And I’ve horribly misstated the feminist perspective if I’ve made it seem that the feminist view is to ever blame the victim.

    I don’t think that’s what you implied at all, but thanks for clarifying.

    I’m just trying to be as skeptical of feminism as I am of other isms.

    That’s a good thing!

    One thing to keep in mind is that no one feminist or group of feminists are the gatekeepers of feminism. There are differing views and ideologies amongst the various feminist factions. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking there is only one right way to be a feminist the way so many others do.

    Remember, the feminism 101 site is written by a few individuals who, granted, provide some very good and useful information and no doubt have good intentions. But make no mistake: They do not speak for all feminists on every issue, nor are they the lifeblood of feminism.

    That’s my two cents, for what it’s worth.

    Good work, as always, Truthwalker. You have shown that you are true to your name.

    Comment by Lottie | March 14, 2009 | Reply

  13. Katy,

    Giving that presentation must have been difficult for you. You are a very courageous woman.

    But even though I knew in my head that it was not my fault…it took a long time for my heart to accept that.

    This, I understand and relate too. It can be an ongoing internal conflict.

    Again, I’m sorry for what you went through.

    Comment by Lottie | March 14, 2009 | Reply

  14. Katie, I am closing out this topic for awhile to do some more research. Thanks for telling part of your story here, and for commenting.

    Comment by truthwalker | March 16, 2009 | Reply

  15. Sorry for not responding yet – I had a busy weekend. I’ll try to get around to it soon, if not on this topic, on another.

    Thanks for the perspective you guys 🙂

    Comment by Katy | March 16, 2009 | Reply

  16. Truthwalker, I know you said you were going to close this topic, and I’m going to jump in because I only come by occassionally, but wanted to give some input. Hopefully you don’t mind… 🙂

    I had this elaborate explanation that just ended up sounding cold and “blah”… so I’m starting over… As we all know, there are different severities of this kind of crime. Some women are brutally raped, others are simply molested/raped as a young child. Now, you know I’m not undermining the severity of the crime, I know that child… but I think sometimes, in LESS SEVERE cases, the victim can chose to remain the victim, or they can overcome, move on, and rise above it. That child I know no longer has pains over her experience. She is mentally healthy and stable. Granted, she wasn’t that way always!! But she decided at some point not to let anything from her past stand in the way of having a happy and fulfilling life… and that was it. No more remorse, no more pain, no more guilt.

    Rape is devistating to the person who experiences it. It’s mentally demeaning. No one wants to be out of control and not have a say in what happens to them. Sexuality is personal, far more personal than a purse or car. It’s not even remotely the same.

    I think you made a good point about alcohol. It speaks more for the horrible power of alcohol over people. I have been I think officially drunk once… like almost 10 years ago or something, and that is the one and only time I will ever be drunk. I never want to be in that position again where I make bad decisions, because the alcohol impares good judgement. But your analogy is not a double standard. A person can drink, be drunk, and consent to sex. If she cried rape the next day, but the guy has it on tape that she said yes and never once resisted, he wouldn’t be punished. The problem arises when a person resists the advances, yet their resistance and objection is ignored. This is the crime. Again, this is just a true testament to the “evil” of alcohol!! People don’t behave the way they normally would. A woman may behave in a way she wouldn’t normally, and drunk man may be overcome with sexual urges and may rape a woman without realizing the severity of his actions.

    Anyway, I’ve re-written this several times, and maybe at this point it makes no sense, but I wanted to chime in…

    Thanks for intriguing commentary…

    Comment by Sui Generis | March 19, 2009 | Reply

    • Always glad to hear your thoughts Suigeneris. I’ll write a final conclusion post one of these days when I figure out what I believe, why and why it is so important to me. Your comment helps a little actually. Thanks for stopping by.

      Comment by truthwalker | March 20, 2009 | Reply

  17. Israel – Perhaps statistics have changed in the past 10 years. Back when I did my report (circa 1999), alcohol was touted as one of the prime factors in rape crime. Interesting.

    I still don’t quite understand why it matters to you to place a percentage of blame on certain women who were raped. I suppose the little old lady who’s walking down an alley at night and has her purse snatched should be blamed as well? Or the person whose house is robbed that didn’t have an alarm system installed? Sure, there are things they /could have/ done differently to lower their chances of this crime taking place…but that does not equate to blame.

    Do you think men are wrongfully being sent to prison? Is that it? From what I’ve heard, winning a rape case is not as easy as you may believe. And even if it were, do you realize how traumatizing it would be for a woman to even lead such a case? Making a police report was hard enough for me.

    And re: rape education for men. That’s like trying to teach assholes not to be assholes…psychopaths not to be psycho. It’s a flaw in their character that they probably learned from their parents (not rape per se, but control over others). Teaching compassion and equality to men old enough to rape would be practically impossible. It’s much easier to teach women how to avoid such people and situations.

    I hope you’ll understand, but I may be avoiding your blog for awhile. These memories and these discussions are not good for my spirit. I’m on a journey to be more positive and the way I feel after debating religion or rape is far from positive. I hope you find the answers you are searching for.

    Comment by Katy | March 20, 2009 | Reply

  18. Sexuality is personal, far more personal than a purse or car. It’s not even remotely the same.

    Since I am the one who put forth both analogies, I would like to respond to this.

    No one has said or even implied that these crimes are remotely the same. Any such erroneous inference would seem to be based on a confusion between content and process of thought.

    That’s my final word on the subject.

    Katy: I appreciate your sharing your experience as well as your thoughts and feelings on the subject.

    It’s much easier to teach women how to avoid such people and situations.

    Indeed! And this is not about blaming women, but rather putting them at wheel and in control as much as possible.

    Thank you for your contribution to this discussion. For what it’s worth, you have helped me.

    Peace,
    Lottie

    Comment by Lottie | March 20, 2009 | Reply

  19. […] with the feminist party line that rape is caused purely by the addition of a rapist.  In the second, both in the comments and the post, I said I really struggle with the idea that no woman could be […]

    Pingback by Rape 4 (The last one) « Ronin of the Spirt | March 21, 2009 | Reply

  20. I think it’s VERY good that Truthwalker no longer thinks that it’s the victim’s fault because of the way they dressed or whatever, but I think some people here still have a lot to learn, including Truthwalker. Why is it anyhow confusing? Do you truly think the man who rapes a woman who was drunk is any different from the man who rapes one who wasn’t and that was wearing lots of clothes? Of course not! They both are selfish beings who think other people serve only for their own purposes. A person who left the key in the car could have avoided the robbery? Yes. Is it their fault any more than a person who got the car stolen by a robber who knew how to start a car without the need of keys? No!
    I don’t understand how some people DARE to think the victim is responsible somehow. Yes, she shouldn’t have gotten so drunken and stripped. Would she have stripped if she was sober? Probably not. Did she know she would strip after getting drunk? Probably not. But could she have realized that getting so drunk wouldn’t end well? Yes, but she didn’t. Is it her fault that she was naive enough to think that she wouldn’t get raped after that? No! Is it the person’s fault to forget (or not know) the need to take the car keys with you? No!
    I don’t know why you’re so confused. You just sound completely anti-feminism and the reason why so many women who invite their dates or even their friends inside their bedrooms don’t say anything to the authorities, allowing the rapists to do it again to someone else or maybe even to them, affraid that the cops would say “Well, you invited him into your bedroom, didn’t you?”
    You disgusted me by thinking that way, but I liked you for trying to understand it better.
    Just don’t think that a person who could have avoided something is any more guilty than a person who couldn’t. Just because YOU are aware of the fact that drinking too much may lead to stripping, which may lead to rape, it doesn’t mean EVERYONE else does. Some people grew up in the country, where leaving your keys inside the car doesn’t usually lead to car robbery.
    This reminds me of getting shocked (I was raised in a small town) after my mother told me that her car had once been forcely open by a robber only because there was a jeans jacket in it, which wasn’t there anymore after she got back. This incident happened in Rio de Janeiro (a Brazilian city – the State where it is the capital of has the same name, but I’m talking about the city alone – with a high level of crime).
    Any crime victim can be blamed, since the “blame talk” comes from a person, and people have different points of view. Even your “Gina” can be blamed. Watch: “Why didn’t she simply tell somebody what was going on? It’s okay that she was four when this started happening, but it kept occurring for four years! She was already old enough to know that she could have told somebody. She didn’t tell because she didn’t want to. She could have. She could have stopped it much sooner. She was asking for it to happen more than once, after all, she didn’t stop him by telling somebody.”

    Comment by Julie | April 16, 2009 | Reply

  21. Would please read the rest of the posts in this series, the ones where I realized how wrong I was and why before you tell me I disgust you? And seriously, could you tone down the rage. You know what? I believe some stupid things. You know how I get over that and become a better person? People teaching where I’m wrong respectfully. I never said what I felt right, only that it was what I felt. I blog to help me understand my own feelings. What I felt was hurtful and evil. I felt that way because I was ignorant not because I was an vicious person. If you plan on commenting again, please respectfully explain why what I believe is wrong. Don’t just be mean about it, and don’t call a woman I loved a whore, OK?

    Comment by truthwalker | April 16, 2009 | Reply

  22. No one is blaming victims here. I think the apparent mental block involves a lack of distinction between responsibility and blame.

    For the record, I don’t much appreciate being shouted at either. Like Truthwalker, if there’s something I’m missing I am open to being corrected and having it explained to me, but I’m not likely to pay attention to someone who is being nasty about it.

    Comment by Lottie | April 16, 2009 | Reply

  23. There is one angle that has been somewhat ignored.
    This is a metaphor.
    There is a woman walking down the street, at one of those farmer’s market type of things. She sees something she would like to buy. She opens her purse, sets it down, and pulls some money out to pay for the item. A man is walking buy. He sees the open purse, with the money (cash) inside. This particular man, through company downsizing, has lost his job. His wife dies several years ago. He has two children, many debts, and very little money. The woman looks well off. She very probably doesn’t need the money. Well, what do you think the outcome is?

    That analogy almost makes me feel despicable, but it is meant to convey a point. Let’s say that a woman does get drunk, and is clothed rather scantily, and takes a man to her apartment. Let’s say that this man is sober, honest, and morally upright (substitute in “not the rapist kind of guy” if you don’t like “morally upright”). What happens? He puts her to bed, and either stays to make sure she is all right, or goes home. Now lets take that same guy, impair his judgment with alcohol, lessen his inhibitions by saying that she has been flirtatious to him throughout the night, and add that he really likes her. Would the ensuing rape be her fault? No. In any way? Hmm…

    What does “any way” mean? Does it mean she could have worn less revealing clothing? Does it mean she could have refined from getting drunk? Does it mean she could have been more reticent? You decide. However, if she were all these things, would the rape still have happened? Well, the guy would still be drunk, and he would still want her. If he were not drunk? And what if he didn’t want her? Again, probability. I have stated just a couple of the variables involved in one possible situation. By knowing the weight and impact of these variables, probability of rape could be calculated. Do you think the girl would try and calculate the probable outcome of some action, and then act on it accordingly? Of course not. However, that’s where people should use a much ignored facet of the human brain… COMMON SENSE.

    Lastly, do you think the thief started off that morning thinking, “I am going to rob someone”? Neither did the rapist.
    (NOTE: OF COURSE I know this does not apply to all situation. I was merely trying to shed some light on the issue by emphasizing a specific situation.)

    Comment by Wind of Silver | May 26, 2009 | Reply

  24. I see where you coming from, but I disagree for a couple of reasons. As you showed, the hinge point of the whole thing is “In any way…” and I think logically that falls apart. I mean she could have locked herself in her apartment too. She could have never moved out of her father’s house and protection. She could have had a gun. I mean, where do we draw the line?

    By that line of reasoning, you are responsible for everything that happens to you. Car accident? You didn’t have to buy a car. Child abuse? You could have run away.

    More than 80% of rape is by a step-father, father, boyfriend, step-brother, or brother. That means that “common sense” doesn’t “protect” 80% of the victims.

    Comment by truthwalker | May 26, 2009 | Reply


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