Ronin of the Spirit

Because reality is beautiful.

telekinesis me

I ‘ve been writing a lot of serious blogs lately, about the divine and things like that. I enjoy doing that, but its been a while since I sat down and just sort of puked out the detritus that floats through my skull on any given day. My brilliant and beautiful wife said something about telekinesis (TK) today, which normally would have merely been funny, but I took a semester’s worth of algebra in 90 minutes today and my brain was still in analyze mode. So here’s the facts about normal energy:

An average very fit person (not a professional athlete, but someone is in peak physical condition for an amateur) can produce a continuous 300 – 400 watts. Lance Armstrong outputs 900W s (about 1.2 HP!) continuously, and the average employee is good for about 70 continuous watts before they feel like they are working hard. I am in good, but not excellent shape, so lets say I can produce about 200 W without getting blown out.

Assume telekinesis works as a field, and follows the approximately the same rules as electromagnetic fields. If I recall, EMF strength decreases in power the farther one is from the source in a manner something like this: If field strength at source = x, that the strength decreases as reciprocal of the exponent of the radius. Basically, if the strength is 200 W at 1 m, then at two meters (2 squared being 4) it will be 1/4 of that or 50W. At 3 m it would be 200/9 or 22 W. At 4 meters it would be 1/16 or 200 W or 12.5 W, and at 5 m it would be 200/25, which is 8 Ws.

So, if my TK abilities are roughly comparable to my athletic prowess, then I should be able to do anything with my mind that I can do with my body, making 200 W a good baseline. If TK dissipates over distance (like radio) then I run out of steam fairly quickly just by pure radial dissipation. 1 W equals 1 Joule which is the energy needed to lift about 100 grams 1 meter. My glass of water weighs about 550 grams and has to be lifted about an 4 cm to fall over, so it takes about a 1/5 watt to knock it over. So using the data in the previous paragraph, I lack the TK field strength to knock over a glass of water at around 32 m which is about 104 feet.

Compared to what you see in movies, that really sucks. At 100 feet, I can’t even pick up a loaf of bread, let alone a nemesis. Still, nothing in my apartment is more than about 14 m away so, I can still exert about 1 watt on anything. And from 2 meters away I can still exert 50 watts, so I should be able to make the bed witout bending over.
Still, you always see people in movies running one thing with their mind and another with their hands, like, mixing an omelet with their mind while flipping eggs with a spatula. I think there is a definite practical limit to that sort of thing. Unless TK gives you some greater multitasking ability, I think the number is actually going to be pretty low. When a human being plays an organ for instance, there are 10 fingers, 2 arms, and two feet being used as input/out put devices, for a total of 14 channels, plus the eyes are reading the music and the ears are hearing it. 16 channels. But its not really 16 separate tasks. It is one task that uses 16 separate I/O channels. If a race car could be made with a totally foot based driver input, a keyboard in place of the steering wheel, and HUD that projected sheet music onto the windshield, it seems very unlikely that the driver would win many races, or many recitals. Each task simply requires too much processing power from the brain. The 16 I/O channels are working, but brain is cannot observe and execute all the data it is receiving. Much of multitasking in the fact that so many of the tasks we do are unconscious. To take a single step requires the use of about 15 muscle movements, but we don’t think “Fire 13, Fire 6, release 12, Fire 7, release 13” etc. It like a program, we think “I want to go over there.” and the “walk program” executes.

Since TK is a act of conscious effort, I don’t think it would be that simple. I don’t think you could just look at a pan, turn your back and execute the “put a pan on the stove” program. Unless you’re blind, you need a lot of visual feed back to do things like, pour the milk for instance. Even blind people still need feed back on that task, they put their finger in the edge of the glass and stop pouring when it gets wet. TK is probably an I/O stream, but that doesn’t necessarily mean its accurate enough to no longer need visual or audio feedback. When I pour milk, I can feel the the container get lighter as I pour it, but the main input I have for that is the pressure sensing nerves of my fingers, and the pressure sensing nerves registering the lock condition of my forearm and bicep muscles. The muscle pressure sensing in only good for judgments like “almost weightless”, “very heavy”, and “heavier than light, but lighter than heavy”. The nerves in my finger tips are extremely sensitive, they can differentiate the pressure variable caused by single hair laying on soft cloth. But anything over about a pound and they simply report “heavy” to “painful” Why would TK be any better?

So, here’s the breakdown. If I had TK, it is too weak to much more than flick a switch at more than about 50 ft. Due to the likely lack of feedback acuity, it will function pretty much line of site within that 50 ft. Since I have to either see what I am doing or “TK fumble” till I find it, it seems it would be difficult to use the power surreptitiously. It also seems like if I am the only one who can do it, that I would not want to display the power particularly obviously.

So what could I do for a living? Well, the most obvious is Illusionist, but thats a really lousy idea. 99% of being a magician isn’t the workmanship, its the showmanship. Despite that what I was doing was really magic, a good showman could always show me up with cheap parlor tricks and better presentation. Besides, normal people are not the only ones who go to magic shows. If I was a fantastic showman, then I would be doing big shows. If I did big shows then some of the people in the audience would be other Illusionists, who with a professional eye would spot immediately that I was not using the same methods they were. This would either get me trouble or killed, if they take their business seriously enough.

I could become a pool shark, but again the same basic problem rears up. A good pool player knows exactly what the physics of a pool table is supposed to be. If when he plays me these laws of physics are broken, the result will probably be at the very least, a punch in the face. Since gambling on pool is technically illegal, I am already functioning in the underworld and the result good be significantly more than a punch in the face.

Since roulette is based on random movement, it seems that it would be a good way to go. However, casinos are NOT in the business of losing money, they are in the business of making money. Casinos are largest patron of of the software of face recognition. Any person caught “cheating” and by cheating I mean winning more than they put in, will be asked to leave. Their face is recorded and sold to the other casinos to put in their face recognition software. The casinos are actually very professional and courteous about this. The first time. The second time they scare you. The third time they tend to function barely within the law as regarding property protection.

So, realistically, there is probably no way to make income from it, unless you practice, a physical skill so much (say ping pong) that the minor adjustments you make with TK disappear into your overall skill. If that is the case, you don’t really need the TK. It would be a skill with no (legal) way to make money. Now, as far as illegal ways, there aren’t as many as you might think. Perhaps the first that springs to mind is cat burglar. Well, the difficulty there is, since you have to be at least 50 feet from what you are stealing, you have to already be a good cat burglar. You also have to stand at the scene of the crime, making it pretty difficult in court to say “I have no idea why that painting ripped off the wall and following me out of the museum I was lost in after closing time.” Hitman doesn’t really work either. If the police find a person shot and you were the last person seen with them and have no alibi for where you were, they are going to find you guilty regardless of whether you pulled the trigger with TK or not. The only way to get away with it would to again, be so good at your job that the TK didn’t really matter.

You can’t really use it as an athlete either. Say you could ride a bike outputting 200 Watts. Add your 200 Watts of TK and now you are really cruising. But since TK energy has to metabolized from the same food energy as normal physical exertion, you would blow out just as fast as if you were peddling with 400 W

So what CAN you do? Well you can fly, if by fly you mean raise with elevator like speed until you are tired. (How many flights of stairs can you climb without getting tired. Its the same thing, mass X distance X time) You could lock you house very securely when you left. (You could drop a bar accros the door from the inside.) You could amaze you friends with bar tricks. You could get chips, drinks, etc without leaving your spot on the couch. You could hang up peoples cellphones when they are being needlessly loud and stupid. You could trip uppity, attractive people. Women could zip dress backs without help. Men could unzip them without consent. You could change hard to reach light bulbs without getting a ladder. You could “haunt” a house. You could disturb and annoy pets and small children.

Pretty much, if TK was real it would serve as temptation to be petty and cruel but have few real applications to life. We know its not real because if it was, it seems that it would replace TV.

February 8, 2008 Posted by | Paranormal | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments